Emotions

When we say we’re happy, sad, tired, energetic, or whatever word you can pull out of the dictionary to describe how you’re feeling, you’re not actually describing how you feel, at least not in any way that does yourself justice.

We like to think that there are types of emotions, like there are types of fruit, each with their own unique characteristics and traits. We like to describe our emotional state by assigning adjectives into an abstract fruit basket, where each item is distinct and separate. But I will argue that our emotional state is much more akin to a smoothie. How you feel at this very moment is the very precise mix and proportions of ingredients your body—not you—decided to throw into that smoothie. And the act of trying to describe your emotional state in a few sentences, let alone one or two words, is as absurd and futile as trying to extract, separate, and distill each type of fruit that goes into a smoothie after it’s already been blended into a thick, homogenous goop.

Your body doesn’t understand English. Neurochemistry doesn’t operate on the basis of simple adjectives. Your emotional state when you say you’re “happy” now versus that of when you said you were happy ten years ago, one year ago, one month ago, or even three hours ago, are all incredibly distinct and likely incomparable versions of “happy.” Just because you’ve declared how you feel, doesn’t make that what you actually feel. The truth is, most people are terrible at describing how they feel, partly because most people are terrible at writing—the act of decomposing thoughts into coherent language—and partly because many of us lack self-awareness.