419

Sadness from suffering is grief—our way to cope with the difficulties of life.

Suffering from sadness, however, is simply misery.

418

Premeditating the risks and contingencies of a certain course of action is called foresight.

Mulling about the future and things we cannot reliably predict is called anxiety.

There’s a fine line separating the two, and we must always be vigilant where we stand.

417

You need to avoid certain things in your train of thought—everything random, everything irrelevant, everything self-important or malicious. You need to get used to winnowing your thoughts, so that if someone asks, “What are you thinking about?” you can respond at once (and truthfully) that you are thinking this or thinking that. And from your answer it would be obvious that your thoughts are straightforward and considerate—the thoughts of an unselfish person, one unconcerned with pleasure and sensual indulgence, with squabbling, with slander and envy, or anything else you would be ashamed to be caught thinking.

Someone like that—someone who refuses to put off joining the elect—is a kind of priest, a servant of the gods, in touch with what is within him and what keeps a person undefiled by pleasures, invulnerable to pain, untouched by arrogance, unaffected by meanness, an athlete in the greatest of all contests: the struggle not to be overwhelmed by anything that happens.

Such a person is dyed indelibly with justice, welcoming wholeheartedly whatever comes—whatever he is assigned—not worrying too often, or with any selfish motive, about what other people say, or do, or think.

He does only what is his to do, and constantly considers what the world has in store for him—doing his best, and trusting that all is for the best. For we carry our fate with us—and it carries us.

—Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 3.4

Focus on who you need to be now—not who you needed to be before.

416

Gratitude—neither an antidote to the suffering, nor an answer to injustice, nor a guaranteed pathway towards happiness, but an ever-present way to just make things better.

Thank you is a saying unperturbed by the waywardness of our perceptions, by the capricousness of our circumstances, unfettered by time and space. It can be said at any moment, to anyone or no one, for any reason or for no reason.

So, all that being said, thank you.

415

A time to tear apart and a time to sew together;

A time to be silent and a time to speak.

414

Everything happens for a reason.

But the tricky part is that we're the ones assigning the reasons, and the reasons that we choose to assign change over time.

413

Because gunshots, lies, and oxtail—or whatever you want to call your god—should say Yes over and over, in cycles, in spirals, with no other reason but to hear itself exist. Because love, at its best, repeats itself. Shouldn’t it?

—Ocean Vuong, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous

412

When things are hard, don’t confuse being exhausted with being distraught.

411

My personal shortcomings:

• I will prioritize serving others over my personal well-being and success.

• I will typically not back down from upholding core principles if violated.

• I have anxiety dreams almost every night.

• I can seem too matter-of-fact at times.

• I lack enthusiasm—at least in the outward sense—and will typically not display strong emotions to any event irrespective of significance or urgency.

• I am fine with dying and losing everything.

• I perceive emotions too strongly.

• My heart often confuses my mind. Or, perhaps, the true problem is that I often try to make a hard distinction between the two.

• I both perceive and absorb other people’s suffering too easily.

• I find it difficult to emotionally let go of things that are close to my heart.

• I fall in love far too easily.

• My life is an manifestation of the “with great knowledge comes great pain” principle. Overthinking is my natural mode of thinking.

410

Opening up your heart usually ends up opening up your mind.

But it usually doesn’t work the other way around.