Choice

One of the fundamental paradoxes of our lives is the one of choice. 

In the contemplation of our decisions—our rudimentary, superficial calculus of cause and effect, our biased judgments of what constitutes a good or bad outcome, and our overweening faith in a stable, predictable world—we often forget that, as humans, we have an absolutely horrendous track record at predicting the future, and an even worse record of making decisions that ultimately contribute to a happier or more fulfilling life. 

This is because we forget to factor in our bias for “good” outcomes when we partake in that calculus; by operating by our instinctive preconceptions of “good,” we predispose ourselves towards the path of least resistance, the options that seem to be laden with less suffering and strife. We would much rather prefer it if we didn’t fail; if we didn’t get fired from or rejected for a job; if we passed an exam or evaluation with flying colors; if we didn’t have to end a relationship or friendship even if it is holding us back. 

The paradox is that while we implicitly understand that suffering and strife is the only means by which we can grow as individuals and derive any meaning whatsoever from life, all our decision-making calculus is coded to obviate it. We think we know what’s best for us, but the stark reality is that we couldn’t be more wrong. Every single success story that we celebrate consists of failure, of people that made ostensibly terrible mistakes—failed classes, job rejections, ruined relationships, or missed opportunities. But by overcoming these challenges that came their way, they were able to divert space for growth in other areas in their life that ultimately contributed towards their success. 

So why is it, then, that we have such an aversion towards making purportedly risky choices? Do we really understand the long-term consequences of persisting on the beaten path, let alone the less-traveled one? And, above all, do we understand how those consequences will ultimately contribute towards a life worth living? 

If we value personal growth, if we wish to live a life with meaning, purpose, and success, then, paradoxically, we must learn to make decisions that will likely lead us to failure, in one form or another. 

“If failure is not an option, then neither is success.” 

— Seth Godin