Everything’s going to be okay.

Until it isn’t.

Until "okay" just isn't sufficient anymore.

There's seemingly nothing wrong with this self-assurance; if it calms you, if it brings you peace, if it’s enough to save your life, and you can think of nothing better to say, then let it help you. Because the truth is, things will be "okay" most of the time. Despite what we might perceive as tumultuous life circumstances, we always find a way to stabilize, to return to or find a new status quo.

But in some way, are we deluding ourselves? Do we subconsciously lower our standards for our lives by settling for “okay”?

An optimist believes that things will be great, not just okay.

A pessimist believes that things will go south, because that's how most things in life go.

A realist believes that we are unable to discern any outcome as more likely than the other.

We’re none of these when we say things will be okay. We instead become stranded in limbo, suspended in an uncertain state of being where all we want is the pain to go away, and we’ll settle for any outcome where we just don’t have to bear the suffering any longer.

It's "okay" for the people that somehow manage to figure things out.

It's not "okay" for everyone else who didn't.

It allows us to hide from the reality of the fact that we have to make hard decisions. But the relief always quickly fades. And every time something bad happens to us, we can't keep trying to hide. When things are very clearly not going to be okay, we can’t be in denial.

We have to learn to say something else. We have to learn to tell ourselves the truth.

"Everything's going to be okay" is a phrase that shields us from being resolute in our approach to confronting the unknown. We're settling for any outcome our life will throw at us. It is but a temporary relief as we continue to drift across a merciless ocean in search of solid ground—a brief respite from a seemingly relentless storm that will inevitably descend upon the horizon, dragging us back towards the currents. It’s a concession to the winds and the tides to wrest control of our lives.

For anyone who has been afflicted by suffering over and over and over again, these become repulsive, traumatic words of an empty, vain promise of a vague, uncertain future where the best outcome is merely being "fine,” “alright,” or “okay.” For those who have lost the battle, there couldn't have been worse words to have been betrayed by.

Until we decide to be firm and unwavering in our attitude,

until we understand the cause and purpose of the affliction and suffering,

nothing will change,

and we will have no say in our fate.

“Everything will be okay” is the mantra of the survivor

and was an empty promise to the fallen.