They say every snowflake is different—but the blizzard, it covers us all the same.
Both triumph and tragedy occur in our world, often without rhyme nor reason. A defining aspect of the human condition that almost all of us can understand is that while we have the agency to change our conditions and improve our chances of success, the world we live in is ultimately indiscriminate; the notion of "deserving," whether in our present life circumstances or our posthumous legacy, is a concept farfetched from the reality of our wayward universe.
Everything’s going to be okay.
Posted on Thursday, January 5, 2023
Last updated on Saturday, August 15, 2026 at 4:27 PM
Until it isn’t.
Until "okay" just isn't sufficient anymore.
There's seemingly nothing wrong with this self-assurance; if it calms you, if it brings you peace, if it’s enough to save your life, and you can think of nothing better to say, then let it help you. Because the truth is, things will be "okay" most of the time. Despite what we might perceive as tumultuous life circumstances, we always find a way to stabilize, to return to or find a new status quo.
But in some way, are we deluding ourselves? Do we subconsciously lower our standards for our lives by settling for “okay”?
An optimist believes that things will be great, not just okay.
A pessimist believes that things will go south, because that's how most things in life go.
A realist believes that we are unable to discern any outcome as more likely than the other.
We’re none of these when we say things will be okay. We instead become stranded in limbo, suspended in an uncertain state of being where all we want is the pain to go away, and we’ll settle for any outcome where we just don’t have to bear the suffering any longer.
It's "okay" for the people that somehow manage to figure things out.
It's not "okay" for everyone else who didn't.
It allows us to hide from the reality of the fact that we have to make hard decisions. But the relief always quickly fades. And every time something bad happens to us, we can't keep trying to hide. When things are very clearly not going to be okay, we can’t be in denial.
We have to learn to say something else. We have to learn to tell ourselves the truth.
"Everything's going to be okay" is a phrase that shields us from being resolute in our approach to confronting the unknown. We're settling for any outcome our life will throw at us. It is but a temporary relief as we continue to drift across a merciless ocean in search of solid ground—a brief respite from a seemingly relentless storm that will inevitably descend upon the horizon, dragging us back towards the currents. It’s a concession to the winds and the tides to wrest control of our lives.
For anyone who has been afflicted by suffering over and over and over again, these become repulsive, traumatic words of an empty, vain promise of a vague, uncertain future where the best outcome is merely being "fine,” “alright,” or “okay.” For those who have lost the battle, there couldn't have been worse words to have been betrayed by.
Until we decide to be firm and unwavering in our attitude,
until we understand the cause and purpose of the affliction and suffering,
nothing will change,
and we will have no say in our fate.
“Everything will be okay” is the mantra of the survivor
and was an empty promise to the fallen.
Posted on Thursday, January 5, 2023
Appears in
- the blizzard covers us all the sameBoth triumph and tragedy occur in our world, often without rhyme nor reason. A defining aspect of the human condition that almost all of us can understand is that while we have the agency to change our conditions and improve our chances of success, the world we live in is ultimately indiscriminate; the notion of "deserving," whether in our present life circumstances or our posthumous legacy, is a concept farfetched from the reality of our wayward universe.
- wayfinding—for yourself, and for othersThe hapless cycle of trial and error and the wearisome vacillation between starting and quitting isn't a rite of passage. Not everything has to be learned the hard way. Where our distinct paths in this uncertain life converge, we can—and should—help each other along the way.
Along the same lines
- For in much wisdom is much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.Ecclesiastes 1:18
- I was once foolish enough to believe knowledge would clarify, but some things are so gauzed behi…Ocean Vuong
Posted on Thursday, January 5, 2023
A Time for Everything
Posted on Friday, February 24, 2023
Last updated on Saturday, August 15, 2026 at 4:27 PM
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
— Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
If there is a time for everything, how do we know that what we’re doing now is the right time to do it?
Most read this passage with a sense of reassurance, affirming their belief that they’ve chosen the ostensibly right thing to do, and that things will go into their favor because of their unwavering faith in God or an overarching optimism.
Conversely, others read this passage with a deep fear that the actions that they’ve chosen to take and the desires of their heart are untimely; they carry an unabating apprehension that they are haplessly misaligned with the course of the universe or with the framework of God’s plan.
Time and time again, we prove over and over—whether in the minute facets of everyday life or the more significant events over the course of human history—that we are incapable of accurately predicting outcomes and determining the right course of action towards complex problems.
We will never know the right time.
But the best we can do is pretend we know.
Because perhaps the ultimate fear of humanity is that there is no right or wrong. Perhaps this harrowing notion that we are infinitesimally insignificant specks of dust, suspended amidst an indifferent universe—without a narrative, without a story, without form nor function, without purpose nor agency, without reason nor rhyme—is far too much to bear.
In our conceptions of a godless world and a godlike world alike, we are powerless. We cannot even begin to fathom the true nature of existence. We are all wrong when we read this passage and contemplate the notion of a right time or a wrong time. But, as humans, it seems as though we would much rather be wrong. We entertain ourselves by chasing these elusive definitions of right and wrong to beguile ourselves into believing that we are in control, that we—against all odds, fraught with uncertainty and imperfection, cursed by the defects and faults of our design—can bring shape to a shapeless world. Even if it means destroying ourselves in the process, we can, at the very least, be proud that we did something.
Posted on Friday, February 24, 2023
Appears in
Along the same lines
- Naïvetéan essay
- Excessive Studyan essay
- Choicean essay
- For in much wisdom is much grief, And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.Ecclesiastes 1:18
- Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.Søren Kierkegaard
- Sufferingan essay
Posted on Friday, February 24, 2023
Prayer Requests
Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2023
Last updated on Saturday, August 15, 2026 at 4:27 PM
I will not challenge the efficacy of prayer as a placebo or a self-fulfilling prophecy. For many, either the act of prayer itself offers the psychological comfort to solve your problem, e.g. the countless “miracles” of people’s health conditions being suddenly ameliorated after prayer, or it grants you the determination and clarity that you need to move on in life and take action.
But isn’t it selfish, if not naive, to have prayer requests? What do you even ask for? It seems to me that the only reasonable prayer is the one that asks God to carry out his will. Why ask for anything else specifically when we have such a poor, biased understanding of ourselves and who we truly are, when we fail to understand what we truly want and what we truly need from an objective standpoint, and when we cannot even begin to comprehend our calling and our purpose here on Earth? Why pray for something that you can’t ascertain the actual importance of within your life?
Why pray for good grades so we can get into a “prestigious” college, when to break free from the chains of those societal obligations might be just what we need?
Why pray for our sense of purposelessness and for relief in a drought in our spirituality, when this discomfort might be precisely what we need to realize our vices and inadequacies as a means of making progress as individuals?
Why pray for greater cohesiveness and enthusiasm in our churches, when what we need to do is dismantle the institution of church entirely, recognizing that it’s only a machine for pandering to the masses and conforming to the prevailing social norms?
How can we pretend that God answers to us on a whim? If it doesn’t cause you to be complacent and relieve you of taking direct action in your life, it sustains an absurd delusion about God and the world.
Is it his will when he supposedly answered your prayers and grants you a 4.0 GPA, and when he didn’t answer the prayers of the grieving, bereaved parents of a five-year-old child who abruptly passed away because of health complications?
When he supposedly answered your prayers to give you a lucrative job or business opportunity, and didn’t answer all the billions of people throughout human history that have been ruthlessly murdered or that have hopelessly perished from famine or disease? Why did he not heed to their frantic cries for help—begging on their knees to be delivered from abject suffering—when he so intently listens to you grousing about how difficult life is as the top one percent of anyone who has ever lived?
Do we really think that God is so oblivious to choose prosperity for you and insurmountable hardship for everyone else? Do we really think that God is so arbitrary on who he decides to go out of his way to help?
I am not convinced that being a Christian requires us to delude ourselves through the act of prayer—to pretend that God will give us what we want or what we selfishly think we need merely because we asked. I am not convinced that God is that naive and petty about his own creation. I am not convinced that we need blatantly ignore the daunting reality of this world solely for this ritual to preserve our faith.
We need to wake up.
Stop praying for money, status, reputation, or material possessions.
Stop praying for fulfillment or happiness.
Stop praying for your lack of motivation or purpose.
Stop praying for an end to our suffering.
Stop praying for all the things that our fallen brethren have also desperately pleaded for, but were never remotely close to attaining.
By making it a game about requests—the act of using God as a crutch, as the primary means by which we invoke change within our lives and the grander scope of humanity—we not only selfishly entitle ourselves to receive undeserved privileges, but we also destroy whatever merit God had as a creator. We consign him to be a capricious, temperamental actor in determining the fate of a human life. When the request is granted, we praise him and remember his grace and generosity. When the request is denied, we turn a blind eye, altering the narrative and falling into delusions to maintain this conception of God as a fair, altruistic actor and enforcer of justice.
But we don’t have to play this game. Let us close our eyes and speak to God if we are so inclined, but lest we dispense of our responsibility we have in determining the fate of humanity. Lest we continue to assign this delusional narrative to our circumstances—this notion that there must be a reason for anything that happens to us—when there is no such narrative.
God does not give us what we want. He does not give us what we need, either. Life is neither fair nor absolute. The world takes its own course. We can write all the stories we want and attribute purpose to our suffering and our joy alike, but nothing—not even God himself—will change the inalterable torrent of time and circumstance. Don’t make it seem God has done something when, perhaps, he didn’t do anything at all.
Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2023
They say every snowflake is different—but the blizzard, it covers us all the same.
Added in 2026
Along the same lines
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- In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a cert…Ralph Waldo Emerson
- The truest ruins are not written down.Ocean Vuong
- The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.Harper Lee
- Venerationan essay
- Conflictan essay
Added in 2026
I again saw under the sun that the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning, nor favor to the skillful; for time and chance overtake them all.
Added on Monday, August 3, 2026
Along the same lines
More on free will · uncertainty→Added on Monday, August 3, 2026
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.
When Alexander The Great was alive the world was not big enough to contain his ambition but while Alexander chafed at the confines of the world in life, in death, “a coffin was enough.”
Added in 2026